Bad Boys 2
Bad Boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do... whatcha gonna do when they make another movie?
I'm gonna be quick getting to the point. amateur courtesy, it's called.
Have you ever seen a movie that made you feel like you were beaten over the head with an idea? maybe a romance movie that said "I love you" too many times?.. ok, now replaced "beaten over the head" with "bludgeoned into senselessness", and you've got Bad Boys.
boom.. bang.. boom.. laugh.. boom.. laugh.. two and a half hours of that.
the key to making this movie worthwhile is making the funny stuff funny, and the boomy stuff loud. The movie got the second part right in my book, but quite messed up the first.
Ok, so it's not all martin lawrence's fault. He's not a bad comedian....
ok, I'm gonna write this review in two parts, because I'm not feeling it right now. maybe tommorrow.
...tommorrow...
nuthin
...two days later...
ok, lets go. wooha.
in two days of ponderance, I have come to this conclusion: bad boys does not need a review. it's like talking about a child's mud pie. there the kid sits, smiling, covered in mud, telling his mommy to look at what he made. wooo. mom smiles because it's cute, and that's what kids make.
wait, lemme make a few comments at least, in leiu of a bloated review (and my favorite number? it's two. and my favorite diamond phillips? it's lou).
since when did cops get to go busting in without a warrant? when did pointing a gun at a kid's head become fodder? oh, and someone on the writer's staff needs to get his head examined. "oooh, what if dead bodies started rolling out and getting run over!!!". in a normal room, that guy gets stared at with the "don't let him near the cat" look. in the writer's room for bad boys, some bright fellow went "hey, good idea!"... and then the director walked in and said "hey, I want a line, throw one in". and the writers went "ok", but really despised him after he left, and gave him an obviously out-of-place line about the two main character's being "freaks". that'll show him. Take that, mrs Bay... and then the bright guy remembered and said "hey, let's start writing that morgue truck scene". And then everyone at the table went "yeah" in unison, and took another sip of their lattes. With their sense of reason blinded by residual hate and hot coffee, they start writing their magnum opus of ickness.
I like will smith, he got the right pitch in the movie. Lawrence (acting like he's having hot flashes), not so funny. Smith, yes funny. Smith was really good in Lethal Weapon 5... wait, I mean Bad Boys 2.
in summary, it's fun for the time it plays on screen, but it lacks the charm of the first. there's this thing called "pacing" that is translated by these filmakers as "putting some funny inbetween the sh**-blowing-up".
some people make intelligent movies about important things, and then some make Bad Boys.
I give it 2.5 out of 4.
note, the actual review has ended, but I feel the need to get this off my chest
You know what would be great? Law and Order, SBU (stuff blowing up). It would be like normal law and order, but it'd take place on a family farm, with two kids who love firecrackers. Each week's show would revolve around the finer points of SBU (stuff blowing up). and while they were scheming, they'd spout some funny lines about how cute that girl they saw yesterday was. oh, but you'd need to make sure the opening credits were really serious.
I need sleep.
bah! who needs an actual "review", when you've got lyrics!
"Bad Boys", by Inner Circle
Bad boys, bad boys whatcha want
Whatcha gonna do when sherrif John Brown
come for you tell me whatcha gonna do.
Bad boys bad boys
Watcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do
when they come for you
Bad boys, bad boys
Watcha gonna do, watcha gonna do
when they come for you
When you were eight
And you had bad traits
You go to school and you learn the golden rule
So why are you acting like a bloody fool
If you get hot you must get cool
Bad boys, bad boys
Watcha gonna do whatcha gonna do
When they come for you (repeat)
You chuck it on this one
You chuck it on this one
You chuck it on mother and
You chuck it on you father
You chuck it on you brother and
You chuck it on you sister
You chuck it on that one and you chuck it on me
Nobody naw give you no break
Police naw give you no break
Soldier naw give you no break
Not even you idren naw give you no break
Why did you have to act so mean don't you know
You're a human being born of a mother with
The love of a father reflections come and reflections go
I know sometimes you want to let go
I know sometimes you want to let go |
