I was exhausted, and all I had to do was pick up my bottled water, frozen lasagna and an Us Weekly to call it a day.

I have never gotten a panic attack, but perhaps I had a minor one while picking up those items in the self-checkout lane of Wal-Mart last week.

In a dazed state of mind (please remember I had woken up at 6 a.m., had two classes and three meetings that day), I hit "Espa–ol" on the screen.

"Para comenzar, escanee el articulo y coloqueio en la bulsa."

"No! No!" I screamed out loud, then quickly covered my mouth as to not draw attention to myself. I searched frantically for a veto button or something on the machine to make it stop. Unfortunately, my four years of Spanish did not contribute one bit to my rescue.

So, I decided to wing it and scanned my items. A guy came up behind me with his groceries and was shocked to hear the machine speaking Spanish to me.

I was even more shocked when I realized I did not understand a word it was saying.

I have always wanted to know Spanish. So many times I have wanted to pick up other people's conversations or even just understand something on television (I love watching those crazy Spanish variety shows). However, I think I have a Spanish block that prohibits me from being able to understand the language.

I was required to take two years of it in high school. I got by with slipping in a few "No comprendos" on the tests. The teacher actually gave us credit for that. My major requires four quarters of it here, and although the professors do not actually give credit for "No comprendo," I have succeeded in making it all the way to the fourth quarter, Spanish 202, with no final grade lower than a B.

This quarter, however, concentrates on conversation, and no matter how much I study, my brain doesn't allow me to think in the language.

A typical day in class with me consists of the professor asking me something in Spanish, and me looking like a deer caught in headlights.

Did she ask me to read from the book or tell a story that I wrote in my notes? What is the correct verb form? Heck, what is the correct word? Ugh.

I really do try. My Spanish-English dictionary sits right next to my bed. I bring it out every night when I curl up to my hours of translating and studying my Spanish course work.

What really bugs me are the people who can carry on long conversations in Spanish for fun.

And I really feel left out when someone says a joke in the foreign language, and everyone in the room laughs.

I want to get the joke. I want to laugh with everyone. Even the simplest, corniest jokes (the ones I absolutely love) are too hard for me to get sometimes.

So, I have found the one thing that I really do want to be good at, but for some reason have a block on not allowing me to do so.

I like to think it has something to do with my fabulous grasp on the English language (give this one to me - I am trying to make myself feel better).

Whatever the reason, I am putting my foot down and saying no more panic attacks for this girl in Wal-Mart.

Next time, I will hit "Espa–ol" on purpose. Well, only on a really good day.

Julie Miller is a junior journalism major from Shreveport and serves as associate managing editor for The Tech Talk. E-mail comments to jem028@latech.edu.