Death is always a scary subject to talk about. I guess it is the feeling of the unknown that makes this topic a little touchy with some people.

I am going to tackle it head on.

As a child I was only faced with death twice when my grandfathers passed away. I was upset, but I think I was too young to comprehend how death really affected me and other people.

Sure, I was there for my friends when they had a relative pass away, and I sympathized with the families of someone who lost their child in a car accident, but it really did not have any affect on me.

That all changed this past summer.

The day after my birthday my friend, Devie Sabalza, and her boyfriend Sam Tidwell were killed in a train accident.

Devie and Sam were students at Tech. My mom called me that night and told me what happened. When I hung up the phone I sat on my boyfriend's bed and felt numb.

I couldn't breathe, and I didn't know what to say or do. All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and disappear.

I wondered if I should call my cousin, Jessica, because I could only imagine how she was going to deal with the news.

Jessica and Devie were best friends in high school, and Devie was considered a part of the family.

At her funeral I thought I would have some sort of closure, but it was just the beginning of my journey. I sat in the church pew with tears constantly streaming down my face with my mom's hand on my back as Devie's preacher comforted us all by saying he knew Devie was in heaven.

I told myself to stop crying because Devie and Sam were in paradise.

As I sat at lunch with my mom and grandmother after the funeral I thought I would be OK, but then I couldn't help but think about Devie's mother.

Every day I would think about her. I thought about how she would never see Devie's smiling face again or hear her cheerful voice.

I thought about how she would never see Devie walk across the stage to receive her diploma she had worked so hard for, and how she would never be a grandmother.

I have never met Devie's mother, but every night that I prayed for her I felt a connection between us.

For the next five months I carried the weight of Devie's death on my shoulders. I was in constant fear of dying and in fear of my friends and family dying.

I never wanted to leave the house because I was afraid of what might happen if I stepped into the real world.

I have realized since then that I cannot live in constant fear of death. Whether I like it or not I am going to die.

I have to live my life to the fullest, and show how much my friends and family mean to me because it may be the last time I see them.

Jordan Marshall is a junior journalism major from Shreveport,. and serves as associate managing editor for The Tech Talk. E-mail comments to jordan21@gmail.com.