"What goes into a man comes out of a man." This is something I heard recently from Jon Randles, a guest evangelist at Temple Baptist Church. That got me thinking about what I've put inside myself over the last 20 years, seven months and 20 days (I'm counting the days until I'm 21).

I won't call this a New Year's resolution because, well, it's March, and that phrase is so clichŽ. Besides, that concept usually only lasts from midnight to 12:01 a.m. Jan. 1.

I've put laziness in, and laziness has emerged. Many times, I've hit one less ball at practice, and, as a result, I have gotten one less hit in an important game. I was too lazy to do 10 more crunches before the Miss Tech Pageant, and that may have cost me the fitness competition.

You reap what you sow, right?

I've reaped dishonesty and have sown it as well. So I can't think of an example right now, but I know I've done it and have somehow been repaid.

I'm guilty of putting hatred inside my heart and mind, and you guessed it, that's what has come out of me. I've cursed someone out underneath my breath for cutting me off or not using a turn single. Ironically enough, 20 minutes later, the shoe was on the other foot.

I've put alcohol in my system, and, as mentioned previously, I have yet to turn 21. That was one of the points Mr. Randles made when he talked about things that can alter one's perception. I wonder if alcohol consumption has caused me to think slower, as Mr. Randles said it would. Maybe that was the difference between my 89 and a 90 in class.

I've put an attitude of disrespect in, and that's what's come out. So, although at times I've only thought about being disrespectful to authorities (i.e. coaches, professors, etc.), it's eventually come out with an occasional roll of the eyes or slight movement of the lips to back talk.

After all, actions do speak louder than words.

I guess I feel kind of like last year's American Idol Ruben Studdard in his song "Sorry 2004."

"This is my sorry for 2004/ And I ain't gonna mess up no more."

I apologize to you if I was rude for no apparent reason. Forgive me if you tried to help and I shunned you. If I didn't contribute as much as I should've during Monday night headline writing, have mercy. I was lazy, dishonest, hateful and disrespectful.

Thus, I'm turning over a new leaf. I'm putting good thoughts in my head in hopes of producing good results. I'm reaping kindness, and hopefully that's what will come out of me. I know all those who have experienced my wrath hope that as well.

This is not to say that tomorrow I will be a perfect little angel, (although deep down I know I am), but tomorrow I will try my hardest to change things around. Don't criticize me when you see me reverting to old ways, just simply give me a word of encouragement to remind me.

Maybe we're all guilty but are too afraid to admit it. But then again, if you put fear in, fear will come out, and during adverse situations, you'll crack under pressure. And trust me, with a full count, bases loaded, bottom of the seventh inning, I know a little about pressure.

Amber Miles is a junior journalism major from Dallas and serves as associate managing editor for The Tech Talk. E-mail comments to anmiles24@hotmail.com.