When I interned for Seventeen last summer, I programmed the number into my cell phone so I could be at the beck and call of the editors whenever and wherever. When I left the beloved job, I never expected to see the number call me again, but I left it in my phone to comfort me.

Since then, I have actually seen the ID pop up a few times when my former editors called me for help with projects. The number popped up again the other day, but this time they wanted called for a project so big, I never could have seen it coming.

"So, have you heard about our upcoming reality show?" my former supervisor asked after a brief chat. Of course I had heard of it. The show is only the biggest buzz in the magazine industry right now. It's an Apprentice-style competitive show that will appear on MTV in the fall.

Girls will compete for the title of America's Sweetheart, who will win a college scholarship, paid internship and cover girl status in an upcoming issue.

My supervisor went on to say that the editor-in-chief and producer of the show had asked specifically for me to apply. (I should explain she's been my uber-fabulous mentor for six years, and I pretty much do anything she says.)

"You'd be absolutely PERFECT for it!" she went on.

Me? A reality show chick? I always wondered what it would be like to have my life taped, but never imagined a situation where it would happen.

I agreed to do it and hung up the phone. All of a sudden, I could picture myself making my debut in the entertainment world. Jay Leno's Tonight Show couch... Here I come. Maybe I could be as huge as Julie from the first-ever Real World.

Wait, what ever happened to her?

Thinking about it, no reality television star has ever made it big, except maybe Clay Aiken. Maybe I would be different.

As I began to look at the 12-page application, I started getting antsy. I love maintaining my privacy, so when asked questions like "Who are you closer to -- Mom or Dad?" and "What is your most embarrassing moment?," I hesitated.

Did I really want a million strangers to know these answers?

Then I started thinking about being on the show. Would MTV distort its choice of footage on me? Would the other contestants gossip and make alliances against me? Would I lose me in "reality?"

All of a sudden, I realized the show wasn't for me. Did I really need to share myself with the world to define reality?

Reality isn't a television show; it's right here, right now.

I e-mailed the producer and told her I changed my mind.

I know -- crazy to give up my 15 minutes of fame, right? Well, I am happy being a plain jane, behind-the-scenes kind of girl. And, hey, that's my reality.

Julie Miller is a senior journalism major from Shreveport and serves as the associate editor for The Tech Talk. E-mail comments to jem028@latech.edu.